Originally posted on 4/25/09
I will start with a high- ministry. The 2nd of April was our last day of ministry for a long holiday. It was a Thursday so we had house visits in the morning followed by Ithemba. I remember walking away from that day so encouraged about what God was doing. During house visits, we met one of our regular families neighbor/friend. We sat and played cards for awhile as we talked about life and why we are in Jeffreys. We took that time to get to know her and her heart. She shared about her family and about the community. We talked about the issues that we see on a regular basis. Issues of abuse and alcohol. Issues of loneliness and temptations. We asked them if they wanted to study a passage of the Bible with us and Shamel, the friend that introduced us, said no. This was hard to hear because God has been really working on her heart and stirring a hunger in her for truth. I knew something was wrong so I asked why she wasn't interested. She began pouring out her heart to us and telling her how last night her boyfriend beat her up. She had bruises all over her arms. She then told us that the scar on her face was from a previous time when he stabbed her. My heart broke instantly. What do you say to a women who faces threats to be murdered if she leaves, yet if she stays she endures beatings? We sat there and let her pour out her heart. We sat and listened. We prayed. We spoke truth of God's love for her and how beautiful she is. We could not tell her what to do, that decision was hers. But God allowed us to be there for her and speak truth about His love and mercy. Afterwards, she had to leave but her friend began telling us of her alcohol addiction and how hard it is to quit. My other two teammates listened to her, prayed for her, and spoke truth into her life. During that time, God just told me to pray. So I began praying for the many kids that live in this area. God urged me to pray for protection, but not just physical protection. Protection over their hearts and over their minds. Protection from the stronghold of alcohol they see daily. Protection from the lies Satan will feed them over their parents fighting. I can't tell you the outcome from those prayers or the words spoken to our two friends. All I know is God's word does not return void. I cling to that truth with every word spoken over these woman's lives.
I spent the next few days relaxing and spending time fellowshiping with the other ministry partners in the area. On Sunday, I left for Cape Town to spend time with friends and allow God to rejuvenate me. As we were reaching Cape Town, we received a phone call informing us there had been an accident. 3 of my teammates and a church member from the Port Elizabeth team were in the car. We were stopped at a petrol station so we stayed there for a little while longer and prayed. Assuming everything would be fine and knowing there was nothing else we could do, we kept driving. Within 30 minutes a second call came. Sarah didn't make it. I can't begin to tell you the emotions that ran through my head. Every possible thought was racing through my mind over and over again. We turned around and drove the 7hrs back to Jeffreys Bay. The following week was a week filled with questions, emotions, and darkness. Why God, why Sarah, why now? I was so upset that I didn't know what to do, so I did just that- nothing. This would be where the low was evident.
It wasn't until Sarah's memorial service that God began pushing me towards healing. I had run for it for the first days afterwards. I ran hard away from it. But as I remembered Sarah's life and friendship the only direction I could go was towards God. I still had questions, I still had many many emotions, but I got a glimpse of hope that day. I knew I had to fight for healing and fight for God's purpose in this situation, and I struggled to do so. It wasn't until we went to Cape Town, as a team- along with our Port Elizabeth friends, that God truly revealed Himself in this situation. Was it easy? No. Did it sting? More than I can put to words. But during the last night we were there, God just spoke clearly to my heart. He brought back all of the characteristics I admired in my friend Sarah. Her listening ear, her gentle spirit, her caring heart, her abounding love, her willingness to forgive, her persistent nature, her willingness to do anything to bring God glory, her words of wisdom and support, her laugh, and God would not let me forget that beautiful smile. The smile that lit up every room she walked in. The smile that brought hope to those she ministered to. The smile that always cheered me up when I walked into our room last semester. All of these things ran through my head, numerous memories that made me smile, laugh and cry. And I just knew God was pushing me towards those things. The fruits of the Spirit that so much of Sarah's life characterized. Sarah was much more than a roommate, or a teammate, she was a beloved friend and an example of what a child of God truly looks like. For that friendship and example, I will forever be grateful. Sarah's life taught me so much about God but her death took those things I saw in her and the things I learned from her and moved them from my head in to my heart. God has been trying to do that with so many things this semester and He used Sarah to help. That last night we sat around and just sang out praises to God. We sang of His love and His greatness, of His light and His hope. And I honestly felt it in my heart. I felt it so much that I couldn't help but smile and cry tears of joy. God is good. No, God is great! There is hope, hope that makes no sense but comes just as we need it most. There is joy in and strength at the foot of the cross but you must first surrender the "happiness" life and the world we live in offers us. I hate it took Sarah's death to open my eyes to these things but I am eternally grateful for her life, friendship, example, and continual impact.
Now I know this only covers a portion of what God has been teaching and the ways that He has been moving but you can be sure that this only scratches at the surface of what He is doing in our hearts and the hearts of those in Jeffreys Bay, Port Elizabeth, and Swazi. Please continue to lift up all of these teams. Pray that God continues to receive glory from everything: life, death, joy, sorrow, laughter, tears, and the goodbyes. Pray that as we finish up our work here that the people we minister to will see Christ and look to Him for their needs. Pray that even though goodbyes sting and are hard that the joy of the Lord will be much greater. Thank you all for your continual support. Your prayers have been felt here, especially in these last few weeks. You have been a great ministry to me and my team. I look forward to telling you more about the things God has done, is doing, and is directing me to in the future. I love you all!
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